Islam made the husband the protector and maintainer of the wife and gave him the responsibility of heading the household, because he is more perfect in rational thinking than her in most cases.
This means that it is obligatory for her to obey him. Here are some hadith about wife obeying husband in English and Arabic.
Hadith About Wife Obeying Husband
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “It is not lawful for a lady to fast (Nawafil) without the permission of her husband when he is at home; and she should not allow anyone to enter his house except with his permission; and if she spends of his wealth (on charitable purposes) without being ordered by him, he will get half of the reward.”
Hadith About Wife Obeying Husband in Arabic
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، رضى الله عنه أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ” لاَ يَحِلُّ لِلْمَرْأَةِ أَنْ تَصُومَ وَزَوْجُهَا شَاهِدٌ إِلاَّ بِإِذْنِهِ، وَلاَ تَأْذَنَ فِي بَيْتِهِ إِلاَّ بِإِذْنِهِ، وَمَا أَنْفَقَتْ مِنْ نَفَقَةٍ عَنْ غَيْرِ أَمْرِهِ فَإِنَّهُ يُؤَدَّى إِلَيْهِ شَطْرُهُ ”.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5195
Ibn Hibbaan narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’”
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 660.
Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa said: When Mu’aadh came from Syria, he prostrated to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said, “What is this, O Mu’aadh?” He said, I went to Syria and saw them prostrating to their archbishops and patriarchs, and I wanted to do that for you.
The Messenger of Allaah SAW said, “Do not do that. If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.”
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah (1853).
Ahmad (19025) and al-Haakim narrated from al-Husayn ibn Muhsin that his paternal aunt came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) for something and he dealt with her need, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He said: “How are you with him?” She said, “I do not neglect any of his rights except those I am unable to fulfil.”
He said: “Look at how you are with him, for he is your paradise and your hell” – i.e., he is the cause of you entering Paradise if you fulfil his rights and the cause of your entering Hell if you fall short in that.
Al-Mundhiri classed the isnaad of this hadeeth as jayyid in al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb; it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, no. 1933.
Who Is More Important Husband or Parents in Islam?
If there is a conflict between obedience to one’s husband and obedience to one’s parents, then obedience to one’s husband takes priority.
Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said concerning a woman who has a husband and a sick mother: Obeying her husband is more obligatory upon her than (taking care of) her mother, unless he gives her permission.
(Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat, 3/47).
In al-Insaaf (8/362) it says: She does not have to obey her parents with regard to leaving her husband or visiting etc., rather obedience to the husband takes priority.
One of the husbands rights on his wife; it is not permissible for her to observe (voluntary) fast as long as he is in town, but she has the right to fast as she wishes if he is far away.
However, she should not (observe) fast if he is at home. The apparent meaning of the hadeeth is that she should not observe fast, be it obligatory or voluntary, except with his permission.
As for the voluntary fast, it is clear that she can only observe it with his permission because the right of the husband on her is an obligation and the fast is merely voluntary.
Hence, she would not be committing a sin by leaving it but forsaking his right makes her a sinner. This is because discordance will take root in his heart if he needs to derive pleasure from her while she is fasting.
Hence, he has the right to experience pleasure from her and copulate with her while she is observing a voluntary fast since he did not grant her permission.
Although her fast is nullified, there is no sin on him.However, it is known that this will be heavy on him, hence the Prophet SAW said, “It is not lawful for a woman to observe (voluntary) fasting without the permission of her husband when he is at home.”
As for the obligatory fast, if there remains a period longer than the missed days, it is not lawful for her to observe it except with the permission of her husband if he is at home.
That is, she owes ten days from Ramadan, for example, and it is Rajab and she says, ‘I want to fast as repayment.’ We would say, ‘Don’t repay the fast except with the permission of your husband because you still have an expansive period of time.’
But if there remains ten days in Sha’ban, she must observe the fast even if he does not permit because it is not allowed for a person who owes Ramadan to delay it till the next Ramadan.
At this moment, she would be carrying out an obligation in the Religion, and the permission of the husband and any other person is not a condition for such.
The Qur’aan and Sunnah indicate that the husband has a confirmed right over his wife, and that she is commanded to obey him, treat him well and put obedience to him above obedience to her parents and brothers. Indeed, he is her paradise and her hell. For example, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”Surah al-Nisa’ 34
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a woman to fast when her husband is present except with his permission, or to allow anyone in his house without his permission.”
Al-Albaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this hadeeth:
Since it is obligatory for a woman to obey her husband with regard to his satisfying his desire, it is more appropriate that it be obligatory for her to obey him in that which is more important than that, namely raising their children, guiding the family, and other rights and duties.
From Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 282
And Allaah knows best.